I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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