She announced her abortion via fbk
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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