Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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