some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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