Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so explain again why im purple
no
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Randomize
