the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
