she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
