u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
