we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
