Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize