i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
