plz talk dirty to me
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
