I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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