Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Who died my cat blue again?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
