Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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