Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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