barbara walters just said penis...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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