dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
