ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
