STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
