how can u be prego again
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
