Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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