My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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