We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Randomize
