im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
