we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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