Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The air was thick with penises
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
