Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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