I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
time to smoke my breakfast
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize