Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
accomplished twins. life is a go
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
