ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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