I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
