Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My Sexting was not on an AP level
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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