He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
did you just send me my own nude
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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