when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
