Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
