A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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