You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
