I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize