We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
