she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
