i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
