oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
