i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
