That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
