New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
you had me at cake vodka
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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