Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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