Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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