But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
