Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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