My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
