is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
