I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I will pee on everything he values.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
