No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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