i jhust puked up my retainher.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
His nipple licking is glorious
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