You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
it's like iHOP with fire
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
