That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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