is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
