No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
