Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
