You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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