I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize