Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
barbara walters just said penis...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
