some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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