I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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