TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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