he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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