I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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