Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
