Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
That accounts for only three of the penises
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
