you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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