No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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