Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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