the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
