Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
