My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
